Nuggets of Wisdom

On Marriage:
I dont want to get married mom. Evie at school asked me, but I don't think I want to marry her right now. Because I'm a kid, and you have to be an e-dult to get married.
But I don't want to get married, because I just want to be a Hanging Out Guy.
What does a Hanging Out Guy do?
They just hang out mom.
Do they have jobs?
Their job is to hang out, so I'm going to be one of those guys, OK?

On Being Famous:
I don't need a haircut mom, because if you cut it, then people won't think I'm so cool. If it's long they know I'm a Rock Star. So don't cut it, OK? Because I'm a cool Rock Star.

On Math:
One hundred has a one and a zero, right mom?
No, one hundred has a one and two zeros, the number ten has a one and a zero.
That's not right mom. I'm wicked smart, and that's not right. One hundred has one zero. I'm right mom.
One hundred has a one and two zeros.
Um, that's not right mom, I'm really good at this and that is not right.
Actually it is honey.
Nu-uh mom.
Are you arguing with me?
No mom, I'm not arguing with you, I'm not.
So I'm not arguing, but I'm right, OK?

On Dessert:
Can I have this chocolate, mom?
Sure, you can have it as soon as you eat your dinner.
OK mom, I got it. But can I tell you something? I have a better plan.
How about I eat the chocolate now and then I eat all my dinner. Isn't that a good plan?